Motherhood terminology that makes my blood boil
After doing bit of research, I noticed I'm not the only mummy out there who wants to punch people in the face when they say certain things or use certain words in relation to motherhood.
So, I've gathered together sone of the best 'most hated' words and phrases that literally make mothers everywhere fume!
1. "Geriatric mother" for anyone over 35.
Pass me the Zimmer frame - I'm essentially being told I'm so old that I'll probably die soon.
2."Breast is best"
Usually uttered by women who have had no problem whatsoever breastfeeding. The underlying implication is that you have "failed" if you haven't quite taken to it.
3. "Milk drying up"
What am I? An old, shrivelled up cow?
4. "We are pregnant" (Said by a man)
Just. Don't. Even. Go. There.
5. "Mummy brain"
An expression commonly used for the forgetfulness of a busy or pregnant mummy. All it actually does is demoralises women by suggesting that once you have a baby your brain shrivels up.
6. Labels like helicopter mum, sloth mum, tiger mum.
Whatever next? Porcupine mum?
7. Anything with the word 'failed' in it..
...Failed Vaginal Delivery, Failed Forceps. Since when did motherhood get so competitive?
8. "Yummy Mummy"
Particularly awful if used as a reference to oneself. Its vanity taken to the extreme. Also, what exactly is a yummy mummy? Someone who has time to brush their hair and wipe baby sick off their shoulder?!
9. Being referred to as 'mummy' by anyone other than your children.
Health visitors are particularly guilty of this. Read and learn: I AM NOT YOUR BLOODY MUMMY (Rupert - when you are old enough to read this, I am your mummy. Please don't get confused.)
10. Full time mum
Does this suggest that those who work aren't also full time mums?!
11. "Are you having any more?"
Excuse me? Having anymore what? Roast beef? Baked potatoes?! Pudding? This phrase should only be used around the family dinner table. It should NEVER be used to enquire about the sex life/reproductive organs of a new mother.
12. Abbreviations on mumsnet - DD, DS etc
Why can't people just use the ACTUAL world to describe something? Isn't that what the English language was invented for? Are mumsnetters simple "too busy puree-ing baby food"' to write a WHOLE WORD?
13. "Attachment Parenting"
As though those who don't sleep with/ wear their babies are not attached to them
Since when did your baby become a piece of clothing?!
15. "Crunchy parenting"
This new (sorry, I was just sick in my mouth) way of describing "natural" parenting e.g. baby wearing, breastfeeding, cloth nappies, home schooling, etc. Doesn't crunchy parenting just sound like Alpen?
16. "Daddy day care"
Is it really that impossible to get a daddy to look after a child that it has to be acknowledged when he does. What about bloody mummy-all- around - clock- every- waking- hour- day care?
17. 'Is he/she down?' (comment in relation to baby falling asleep in their cot)
. Down where?
18. "A bun in the oven" or "ready to pop"
A sure fire way to make a women sound like a vessel
Have I missed anything off the list? If so I'd love to hear them to please leave a comment below!