#Squadgoals: The 5 parenting friends you need to have
1. The Gina Ford mummy - This doesn't necessarily mean she's read the book or "sleep trained" her baby by the way of Gina. Instead this mother is the "routine nazi." She knows EVERYTHING there is to know about how to get your baby to sleep/wean/stop crying. She is the fountain of knowledge when it comes to the best baby toys to stimulate young minds, the top lotion to cure cradle cap and the ultimate members club for babies and how to get into it (fyi it's Maggie and Rose in chiswick).
2. The stylish baby personal shopper - She's the mother whose baby always looks immaculate in the latest must have baby gear . She probably also looks immaculate too having handed the baby over to the nanny and headed to the kings road for a mummy and baby shop to rival all shops. She Knows exactly WHAT your baby should be wearing, how to camouflage your post baby tummy, and how to disguise tired eye bags with the trendiest sunglasses on the market (she insists sunglasses are not just a summer accessoriy and should be worn at every given opportunity. Even during PT sessions)
The experienced mother - She has a small little brood of her own (read as: 2 or more children) and is magically equipped with the sort of "been there done that" knowledge that all other mothers strive to have. She's the one who can be honest about parenting - the ups, the downs and the laughter behind getting baby poo out of a brand new cashmere baby blanket. She's also the mother who will happily take your baby off you when he's crying uncontrollably and insist you take an hour out to get your nails done/have a longed for nap/drink a glass of vodka.
The social media genius - This is the mother of all mothers. She's always there to snap photos of you and your squad, turning your waxy, grey complexion and mummy tummy into something that resembles you post baby, thanks to a multitude of photoshopping apps and filters . She'll then advise on which social media platforms are the "place to be" and make you look as though you have parenthood sorted in a "I've just had a baby but look how fabulous my life is" way. Instagram followers immediately tripled.
The Cheerleader Mummy - You've maintained your baby weight and, despite all good intentions, you haven't quite yet got to the gym (surpassing it for a mother/me time spa day instead.) The cheerleader mummy is the one who reminds you (gently and kindly) that getting your old body back will not only make you feel fabulous, but will also accumulate in feel good exercise hormones blah blah blah. She's the friend who will search out the hottest new exercise classes, find a personal trainer who is willing to train your whole nct group and suggest green juice instead of your usual sugar ladened caffeine fix. You might hate her at the time but you'll love her once you fit back into your size 10 skinny jeans again.