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Parenting lingo that you HAVE to know

Parenting lingo that you HAVE to know

As a new parent, I have had to learn a lot of new things: what a specific baby cry means/ how to sterilise a steriliser/which app will remind me which boob I'm next feeding  on.

But one thing I wasn't prepared for was the 'parenting slang.' It seems once you pop a little one out, you are initiated into a world with a whole new vocabulary. So, for any soon to be parents out there, I thought I'd make it easy and summarise the 'must know' parenting phrases and words!

1. Carcolepsy 

 You turn on the car engine and your baby immediately falls asleep. (Warning: This is usually teamed with 'TrafficLightAgeddon' - the moment when the car stops at a red light, the baby senses the lack of movement and screams blue murder for the rest of the car journey.)

2. Circle of Neglect 

The Jumperoo/Jungle Gym (but what a fabulous a fabulous circle of neglect it is)

3. Fashionably late

When you turn up not only late, but also sporting baby sick  somewhere about your person. You also wonder (albeit fleetingly) if  the baby sick could be passed off as a new fashion accessory.

4. Mum bun 

Dry Shampoo? Tick? Hair tat hasn't been washed in days? Tick. Frizz due to lack of hairdryer/styling time? Tick. The solution? The Mum Bun - casually check all hair up into hairband (no style needed) and attempt to pass off as a 'I MEANT to make my hair look like this' fashion statement.

5. God squad 

 The Godparents. Belief in  actual God is not normally a requirement. Knowledge that they will be the life and soul of the (christening) party, a must have, 

6. Nanvy 

 When our baby looks dotingly at your nanny yet eyes you up as though you are the devil.

7. Hands-free 

 As used in the following sentence 'Shall we take the bugaboo bee 3 or go hands free?" Ah yes, the baby sling.

8. Yawn tennis 

 When you compete with your husband over who is the most tired. (We are at Wimbledon standards in our household at the moment!) 

9. Lie-in 

When your baby wakes you up every 2 hours to feed and then decided that 4.30 am is a very reasonable time to be wide awake and start the day. 

10. Mummy's medicine

 Prosecco or Gin. Or the two mixed together. Or just anything alcoholic.

Have I missed anything off the parenting slang list? Let me know in the comments below.

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